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« front door facelift | Main | my birth story ::: gunnar james »

7 weeks into motherhood

You guys, I have NOTHING to blog or instagram except my first born child. Essentially there is nothing else going on in my life. This little creature has been all-consuming since his arrival. I do love him most dearly and very much enjoy our days of snuggling. The biggest adjustment is definitely the amount of attention he requires during his waking hours, and the scrambling to get 40+ things done during his short irregular nap times. Goodbye selfishness, there is no time for you. 

Gone are the naive dreams of working from home, whilst enjoying my sweet angelic babe each day. Instead are long days of breastfeeding, cleaning up body fluids, 
breastfeeding, laundry, breastfeeding, and attempting to keep the house from becoming a disaster. Did I mention there is a lot of breastfeeding? Which did NOT come easily or naturally in the beginning. If I'm being honest, at times I've even resented spending 1/4 of my waking hours on this single task. At 7 weeks, I estimate over 150 hours nurturing my little guy. I can't think of anything else in my life that has been given that much dedication. This is a calling that is physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. I had no idea.

But it is now getting a bit easier, and each time I have a little less anxiety about nursing around others. I envy those women who make it look so seamless, and hope to look half that put together some day. 

I haven't even touched on the many other surprises that came along with motherhood. Or the infinite list of questions like "do I leave my kid in the car while I return my shopping cart?" and "will my rug start growing some funk from all the milk it's absorbed?". But alas my sleeping babe will awake any second so I must publish this stat.

One day I do hope to blog about other fun things, but for now I plan to treasure (as best I can) this time when my baby needs his momma most.

Newborn photos by me—Gunnar was 4 days old. And yes, I was unexpectedly hit hard with a case of I-have-the-cutest-baby-ever-born-and-everyone-needs-to-look-at-his-picture syndrome (so annoying!).

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Reader Comments (4)

Oh these photos! I miss newborn snuggles soooooo much. He is beautiful! The only advice I can give you is cherish those days where he wants to be held and/or nursed all day. You will one day look back fondly at those times. Bodie is 7.5 months and I'm so grateful I had treasured those days with him and accepted that I wasn't going to get anything done. Enjoy it and call me if you need anything, ANYTHING. And if you want to get out of the house, come on over.

June 4, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

Ha! Yesterday I was at Target & faced with the "do I leave her & return the cart?!" dilemma. I did - I figured 45 seconds unattended while strapped safely in her car seat in the air conditioned car wouldn't hurt. And I'm pretty sure it didn't. =)

June 4, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa Williams

I'm a first time mother to a 11week old. I am relating totally and completely to how you feel. Thank you for sharing those words. As great as it is, it is tough. But hang in there...it somehow gets better.

June 5, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercat

Oh he is PERFECT! So, so gorgeous. And those newborns are so incredibly hard. No one really talks about how much those early latches hurt. I had to count to ten with my teeth clenched for the first few weeks every time she latched on. I wished someone had talked about how vulnerable that little one makes you feel. All of the sudden this little being had such absolute control of my happiness. For a pretty independent person, it was difficult to get used to. It's hard to see that life WILL get better, but I imagine you are already seeing a little light at the end of the tunnel a month after this post. Keep up the good work mama!

July 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGeneva

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